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Could you feel the only choice is ranging from (a) accepting anything as they are now – no matter how bad it get, otherwise (b) making your partner?
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The hard truth is this: It would be a whole lot easier – and a lot less painful – to simply beat your head against a brick wall than to continue “working” on your relationship in the dark. I’m going on record as saying ‘hard work on your relationship isn’t the answer’. As I’m sure you know, there is such a thing as “working hard” – and then there is “working smart.” Dedication has gotten you nowhere – and it never will.